How cute is this gallery wall near my place, I love it!
So I’ve been feeling really weird lately, spiritually and mentally restless. I do get restless, and through out my twenties this just meant bouncing from one thing to another. Now I’m in my thirties I feel like it’s the first time I’ve actually had to weigh up my needs against my wants and my “now” wants against my “future” wants. It’s a strange sensation, but supposedly one that serves well as you get older! I’m not unhappy, don’t get me wrong, I’m just… restless!
I’ve been loving the idea of impermanence, and it just keeps popping up everywhere, as ideas often do once you fix on them.
I am so completely fascinated by the idea that we are matter expressing itself as a human.. matter that never stops changing and moving and interacting. I am quite literally a cluster of ever-changing and fluctuating energy in the form of protons, electrons and neutrons and so on. Did you know for example ninety-eight percent of our bodies’ atoms are replaced each year? I learned that from this article (which is great). The idea actually makes me feel really excited.
My friend went on a Vipassana retreat over the holidays and talked about how hyper-aware it made him feel, in terms of that idea of you being “a concentration of energy in a sea of matter”. Vipassana means “to see things as they really are”. During the retreat you practice noble silence (not talking to people) and do A LOT of meditation. I’d like to try it, but I think it would be a real struggle, but maybe a worthy one. The no talking maybe not so hard because I asked and you are allowed to talk to animals/insects/trees if you wish (don’t judge me) – but the sitting still to meditate – that I think I would struggle with. But from a spiritual point of view that struggling against your need to always DO (hello restless heart!) I see as a good thing, and probably something to consider. Have you ever done anything like this, or are you interested?
In other news, I’m planning a trip to the UK and Ireland and maybe some of Europe in August, so that’s exciting! I also started archery (so fun) and aerial yoga this year (also so fun). I highly recommend hanging upside down for any reason, it’s fun, and makes you feel good.
And on the opposite side of restlessness and constant moving a reminder to appreciate the every day and always look for the magical in the ordinary:
“As it is, we are merely bolting our lives—gulping down undigested experiences as fast as we can stuff them in—because awareness of our own existence is so superficial and so narrow that nothing seems to us more boring than simple being. If I ask you what you did, saw, heard, smelled, touched and tasted yesterday, I am likely to get nothing more than the thin, sketchy outline of the few things that you noticed, and of those only what you thought worth remembering. Is it surprising that an existence so experienced seems so empty and bare that its hunger for an infinite future is insatiable? But suppose you could answer, “It would take me forever to tell you, and I am much too interested in what’s happening now.” How is it possible that a being with such sensitive jewels as the eyes, such enchanted musical instruments as the ears, and such a fabulous arabesque of nerves as the brain can experience itself as anything less than a god? And, when you consider that this incalculably subtle organism is inseparable from the still more marvelous patterns of its environment—from the minutest electrical designs to the whole company of the galaxies—how is it conceivable that this incarnation of all eternity can be bored with being?” ~ Alan Watts, The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are
I found that lately too, also on Elephant Journal (great website). Maybe the universe trying to remind me that restless though we may be, there is beauty here, always. We just have to stop and look for it.